


dream on chaotic

by shuutsukiyama (aizensosuke)



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Coping, Enthusiastic Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Fix-It, Healing, Healthy Relationships, Late Blooming, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Polyamory Negotiations, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-08-20 02:11:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20220073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aizensosuke/pseuds/shuutsukiyama
Summary: in the pseudo-peace that exists between humanity and ghouls, the one-eyed ghouls find themselves presenting late when no one expected them to in the first place. for kaneki ken, this is a complication in his otherwise perfect life that has him caught between his long-time partner and two of the ghouls he could never live without. for urie kuki, this makes the stability of the workplace an unpredictable hell where standing too close tempts him too much. for takizawa seidou, this is a magnet that leads him back to the people whose lives he swore to never ruin again.for uta and yomo renji, this is just quality entertainment while they await the birth of their first child.





	1. Chapter 1

The HySy ArtMask Studio located in the Fourth Ward is quiet during the day with only a handful of customers willing to breach the doorway while the sun is out. Yomo Renji has made his fair amount of jokes about how the shop’s reputation precedes it even in a time of tentative peace such as this, but today he is grateful. After all, the last thing he would ever want is to even accidentally associate his niece with anyone dangerous.

Perched on his back, Kaneki Ichika has been talking his ear off for the last fifteen minutes as he navigates the familiar streets that bring them to Uta’s shop. As soon as she recognizes the building, Ichika squeaks directly into his ear, and Yomo winces.

“We’re visiting Uncle Uta!” Ichika squirms against his back in delight and Yomo smiles as he pats one of her little hands, clasping the fabric of his coat to keep herself balanced.

“I promised you that you’d get to see him,” he reminds her, and Ichika beams at him, her violet eyes glittering like amethysts in the bright sunlight above him. “But remember, no pouncing on him. If you jump on him, you might end up hurting him or—”

“Or the baby, I know, I know.” Ichika wriggles down off of his back and takes his hand in both of hers, and Yomo chuckles to himself as he leads her into the shop.

Now that there is pseudo-peace between humanity and ghouls, the shop has gained a much larger customer base than it used to have. There are more humans willing to cross its floors to request an order from Uta, and far more ghouls flock here than they used to. There are photographs on the walls now, as though Uta has stopped trying to cage himself into a lonely little corner and is happy to admit there are people he loves in his life, and people who love him. Some of the photos are of Uta and Yomo when they were younger.

Those images give him a nostalgic pang in his gut, but it quickly eases away when he turns to see his mate, the shape of his body still relatively slender from the back and emphasized all the more by the blacks and greys he continues to drape himself with. Today his hair has been left long to fall around his shoulders in loose waves, and Yomo wants to tuck his nose into them and pull Uta back against his chest, hold him safe and secure.

“Welcome, welcome.” Uta’s back is to them. He appears to be leaning over one of the glass cases lining the walls, wiping off its surface with a damp rag. “How can I help you today?”

Immediately, Ichika breaks away from Yomo, her small feet slapping against the monochrome tiled floor as she hurries across its gleaming surface to where her current favorite uncle is waiting for her. “Uncle Uta! We came to see you!”

Watching his niece run up to his husband’s side always makes Yomo feel as though someone has wrapped a warm and comforting hand around his heart. Uta folds the rag and sets it down on the glass before turning just in time for Ichika to throw her arms around his middle, hugging him as intensely but as gently as a child trying to be careful of their unborn cousin can. Though Yomo thought it might be hard to temper her excitability during the pregnancy, Ichika has handled it with grace just as he knew she would in his heart.

When she leans back and plants a kiss on Uta’s stomach, he smiles down at her. “Nice to see you, little flower. It’s not often you get to come visit me when I’m at work.”

“I wanted to see you and the baby,” Ichika tells him matter-of-factly, and Uta chuckles as he ruffles her hair gently. “When do we get to see the baby for  _ real _ though?”

“It’s going to be a while. The baby’s still very small.” Uta holds his hands apart about a foot, smiling when Ichika gapes up at him. “You were that small once, you know, and we had to give you plenty of time to get bigger. So you’ll just have to be patient.”

Huffing, Ichika still presses a second kiss against Uta’s shirt. “Don’t take  _ too _ long.”

“How’s business been today?” Yomo asks as he joins them, leaning over to give his mate a kiss on the side of the neck, lips brushing over the ink there. He smiles when Uta sighs and tilts his head, inviting Yomo to stay a while. “I hope it hasn’t been too hard on you.”

“You’d be surprised at how many people are willing to give you a wide berth when they know you’re going to be extra sore and irritable,” Uta informs him, and Yomo chuckles softly.

His touch is careful as he traces the shape of Uta’s stomach through the thin fabric of his shirt, the warmth of Uta’s skin soaking into his fingers as he does. This close, he can smell the scents of leather and polish and silver complementing Uta’s own natural scent, the fainter perfumes of soap and shampoo and conditioner beneath that. His mate is warm and well-fed and happy, and it shows in the way he sways closer to Yomo with a pleased hum.

It has taken  _ too _ many years for him to feel like an alpha that Uta  _ deserves _ to have at his side and in his life, standing tall as his mate and the father of his coming child.

“The baby’s kicking,” Ichika announces, pressing her cheek against Uta’s stomach, her eyebrows furrowed and her lips pursed. “Kicks pretty hard for being that little.”

“They do,” Uta confirms, resting his hand on top of Ichika’s head. “You know, I heard you kicked the hell out of your momma when she was still carrying you, so maybe that means we’re going to get a little alpha of our own. You could teach them to be brave and strong.”

This time, Ichika bounces a little on the balls of her feet as she looks up at him. “Really? I’ll be the best big cousin ever then! I’ll make sure they’re strong just like me.”

Yomo huffs against Uta’s ear. “You’re going to get her excited for nothing if it’s not true.”

“You think she wouldn’t get a kick out of having a little omega cousin to look after?” Uta fires back, and Yomo concedes. Ichika would definitely love having that chance. “Come on, let’s go sit down in the back for a bit. My feet are starting to get sore.”

Yomo crosses the office to set the sign in the door that the shop is momentarily closed before picking Ichika up and carrying her up the set of stairs that lead to Uta’s apartment perched above the shop. He no longer lives in the space— Yomo insisted on Uta coming to live with him as soon as he marked Uta as his— but has remodeled it into a casual hang-out spot for all of them, keeping the kitchenette stocked with dry goods and drinks.

As soon as Yomo sets her on her feet, Ichika hurries over to the dark curtains to swing them open and spill warm sunlight into the room. Uta smiles as he watches her, and Yomo can easily imagine that same softness in his eyes when their own child is growing up.

He’s far too excited to be a father, to hold their own little one his arms for the first time.

“Here.” Yomo pulls a chair out at the scuffed table and helps Uta sit, dropping a kiss on top of his fine black hair and chuckling when Uta swats playfully at him. “Have you heard or seen anything interesting lately? You know I have to ask considering.”

Uta looks back at him, crimson eyes reflecting the sunlight. “Considering we still have a handful of people we’re keeping an eye out for, yes. Takizawa-san visited last night.”

“I thought he would eventually.” Just the same, Yomo is relieved to here this. Finally, he has a hopeful note of information to take to Amon Kotaro. “He taking care of himself?”

“He looked better than I thought he would considering his vigilante status, all things considered. He wanted me to make him a mask so he can work more freely.” Uta rolls a shoulder at him. “Get me juice from the refrigerator, and some for Ichika, too.”

Yomo retrieves two bottles of yuzu juice, twisting the cap off of one of them and setting it on the small table beside the couch while Ichika stands on the back of it and peers out at the city. The Ward she lives in is far less exciting than this one even during the day, and as long as she is safely behind the glass, Yomo is content to let her stare in awe and wonder at the goings-on. She throws a thank-you over her shoulder at him.

When he returns to the table and sits down, Uta is taking a long sip of his own juice. “I swear I’m barely getting by without the coffee. I can’t wait for this to be over.”

“Is that so?” Yomo arches a brow at him while Uta only flashes him an insincere smile. “Because I recall the last time we talked about this, you said you wanted more.”

Uta flicks his juice lid at Yomo, bouncing it off of his forearm. “You can’t use that against me. You had your di— You had me in a compromised position and you know it.”

“That doesn’t account for the fact you asked me specifically to make sure you had at least three more.” Not that Yomo is going to argue with that. He would be happy with any amount of children, especially if they have Uta’s charming little half-smirk.

“Oh, that reminds me, actually,” Uta says, and Yomo resists the urge to roll his eyes at the sudden change of subject, “Takizawa’s having an issue. I didn’t honestly think he’d have to worry about it at all considering Kaneki never has, but now I think differently.”

_ What are you being so cryptic about? _ “And what issue is he currently having? Not that there’s much we can do to help him unless he’s willing to reveal himself to us.”

“Unless Amon-san has presented as an alpha or Mado-san is willing to break out a strap, I don’t think there’s much in the way of help they can provide.” Uta’s eyes slide to where Ichika is standing on the couch, but she appears not to have hurt him.

Yomo frowns, his brows drawing together. “What exactly do you mean? Amon-san won’t present as anything to my knowledge. None of the unnatural one-eyed ghouls have.”

All things being equal, this is hardly a medical anomaly. The biology of Kanou’s research subjects, the quinx of the former CCG, and natural one-eyed ghouls like Eto and Ichika never did quite match up in a way that could make anything predictable. Having Eto as an example at least makes Ichika easier to raise because they know what to expect from her; they knew she would develop as an alpha, beta, or omega, and they knew she would be able to consume normal human food instead of the synthetic ghoul food created by TSC.

In all of the time Yomo has known Kaneki Ken, though, he has never presented as anything, something highly unlikely in ghouls but typical of humans. He assumes it must be that Kaneki’s biology still aligns enough with human that he would never present as anything.

None of that stopped him from conceiving Ichika, so it wasn’t like it mattered, really.

“Ah, but that’s where you are incorrect now, Raven-kun.” Uta’s smile is thin as he sips his juice, tapping a painted fingernail against the plastic bottle. “My nose is even more sensitive now than it was before the pregnancy, so I would definitely know.”

Again, Yomo glances at Ichika before returning his gaze to Uta once more. “What did you notice about him? Is he actually starting to present as something?”

“He’s presenting as an omega. He’s so pale, so the flush is easy to notice.” Uta chuckles softly to himself. “The smell more so, of course. That’s impossible to notice.”

The thought of Takizawa out there wandering around through his first heat makes Yomo’s stomach roil unpleasantly, though he knows logically that Takizawa is powerfully strong for a ghoul and will be able to easily defend himself from anyone looking to take advantage of him. Though the concern will always be alpha ghouls, it could easily be opportunistic humans who think that a flushed and exhausted ghoul would make an easy target.

Nothing could be further from the truth, but they will learn one way or another.

“The only reason I bring it up is that we should probably keep an eye on our other one-eyed brethren, hmm? Wouldn’t want things to pop up suddenly, would we?” Uta winks at him, and Yomo nods in agreement. Right now, that’s the last thing anyone would want.

“If I’m being honest, I’d put money on Ken presenting as a beta if he presents as anything at all,” he says, and Uta chuckles as he finishes off his bottle of juice.

Then his expression goes more solemn, and he clears his throat. “Pass this information on to Kaneki-kun, will you? He’s in touch with all of the one-eyed ghouls that I know of, and he’s the only one with clearance to visit Furuta-san where he’s been institutionalized.”

_ Institutionalized _ is the most polite way of putting it, but Kaneki stepped in on Furuta’s behalf when the man’s barely-alive body was pulled from the wreckage and placed into their care. Even if Furuta did not deserve it— and he  _ never _ would in Yomo’s opinion— he was somewhere safe, being cared for, while trained professionals tried to sort through the tangled web of his mental illness issues so that he might have a few years of happiness down the road. Kaneki is the only one permitted to visit him.

The thought of Furuta presenting at all is not a pleasant one.

“The quinx are an odd group with very strong personalities, though,” Uta continues, as if completely unaware of what he himself has suggested, “and I can imagine how poorly things might go if one or two of them were to present as alphas. They’d butt heads horribly.”

“That’s true. I’ll let Ken know when I head back, but I’ve got no intention of doing that right now. C’mere.” Yomo stands and, without a word, picks Uta up out of his chair.

Even pregnant, Uta hardly weighs enough to make it difficult to carry him over to the chair adjacent to the couch, the oversized one that fits the two of them perfectly. Uta wraps his arm around Yomo’s shoulders and breathes warm against his lips, giving his hair a tug to hide their kiss from Ichika just in case. Yomo takes advantage, cradling Uta’s jaw as he draws him into slow kiss after slow kiss, mouthing words of devotion against his skin.

Only the man half-curled in his lap has ever inspired this from Yomo before.

He drops a hand down to cradle the side of Uta’s belly, feeling the firm little kicks against his palm as he deepens the kisses taking his mate’s breath away. This is such a welcome change to their usual play-fighting that Yomo eats it up for as long as he can.

Maybe he will make good on Uta’s wishes and ply him with as many children as he wants to keep him sweeter and docile just a little longer, something softer to savor.

“Uncle Uta and Uncle Yomo are  _ kissing, _ ” Ichika declares, and Yomo tears himself away from Uta’s mouth to see her peeking at him, giggling. “Tousan told me one time that you used to fight a lot. Are you happy now that you aren’t fighting anymore?”

The question catches Yomo off-guard; there seems to be no end of things that Kaneki lets slip when he gets to talking to his daughter. “There was a lot of fighting between all of us back in the day, but everyone is much happier now. Aren’t they, Uta?”

Uta looks thoughtful for a moment, but Yomo’s playful scowl has him laughing as he cuddles up against Yomo’s chest. “Yes, Renji, everyone is. Including me. Maybe me most of all.”

“Nothing makes me happier than you being happy.” Yomo catches him by the chin and gives him a swift but sweet kiss, and Ichika erupts into giggles all over again as she drops down on the couch and finally picks up her bottle of juice.

Perhaps it is the excitement of the day finally taking its toll on her, but Ichika starts to doze off after a few minutes, smothering yawn after yawn against the palms of her small hands before Uta finally climbs off of Yomo and retrieves her from the couch. Though he shouldn’t be lifting her at this stage in his pregnancy, he handles her with ease, and Yomo walks ahead of him to open the bedroom door so Uta can tuck her in for her nap.

Watching him handle such a small child with so much ease warms Yomo’s heart. He’s so careful with her, lying her down without disturbing her fragile rest, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as he folds the blanket around her small body. Yomo is there to catch him when he straightens up, drawing Uta back out to the living room, closing the door behind them as he goes. If Ichika needs them, Yomo will definitely hear her call out to them.

For now, though, he picks Uta up and sets him back down in the chair, kneeling on the floor at his feet, hands brushing along the sides of Uta’s thighs. “You’re a natural with her.”

“So you’ve said.” Uta slides a hand through his hair, dislodging something. A small blue bow tumbles onto the scuffed hardwood; Ichika must have snuck it in when she was riding on his back. “That should make taking care of our own child relatively easy, hmm?”

“You’ll be a natural with them, too,” Yomo confirms, and Uta smiles down at him.

With a practiced touch, Yomo slips his hands beneath Uta’s shirt and pushes it up, the fabric loose and thin so that Uta can wear it comfortably as his body changes shape. His skin is soft and warm but stretched taut across the middle, the dark ink here slightly distorted by the swell of his belly. Yomo presses his cheek against the spot where their child kicks, feeling the tap of it against his skin, hand cradling the bottom of Uta’s belly.

“You’re such a sap,” he murmurs, and Yomo tilts his head to press a kiss to Uta’s skin. “The biggest sap. I hope you have a reason for being on your knees, Raven-kun.”

“Of course.” Yomo slides his hands under Uta’s thighs, fingers finding the waistband of his pants so he can drag them down his legs, unsurprised to find nothing beneath. After all, most of Uta’s clothing no longer fits, and he is clearly tired of trying to buy enough to compensate. “It looks like you were expecting me to end up here anyway.”

Uta shifts his thighs wider apart, scooting so his ass is on the edge of the chair. “Of course. I know you better than you know yourself when it comes down to it.”

Yomo hums thoughtfully as he kisses the lower curve of Uta’s stomach before brushing his nose against the soft black curls on Uta’s mound. “That you do. Listen for Ichika for me. This would be an awkward position to be caught in after all.”

“I won’t let your niece walk in on you eating me out,” Uta reassures him.

Laughing softly, Yomo lets his mouth wander lower, breathing soft and warm against Uta’s skin while his mate’s fingers tighten in his hair, unwilling to let him so much as slip away. Yomo answers by gripping Uta’s hips as tightly as he can, anchoring their bodies together as he draws as many soft and muffled moans from his omega’s lips as he can without waking up their niece in the next room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i read :re a long time ago but sitting down to finally watch the anime has brought up a whole lot of negative feelings i have toward the canon material and a handful of character deaths and just. things i wanted to be different and better.
> 
> i hope you guys have fun on this journey with me as i vent my frustrations in the form of fanfic.
> 
> just a couple of notes to throw in here at the end of this first chapter:
> 
> touka and kaneki are ichika's parents, but they did not stay together. touka is with yoriko, kaneki is with hide, and the two of them share custody of ichika and are very good friends who care a lot about each other.
> 
> uta and yomo are happily married of course because why wouldn't they be.
> 
> furuta is alive but he's in a mental health hospital. since kaneki was so empathetic toward him and i really hate just, everything to do with furuta's storyline in general, he's gonna get some damned help.
> 
> the less said about shirazu's canon death the better. i hated it. that's my favorite boy. i refuse to accept a world where he had to die like that, scared and seemingly alone. he deserves better than that. he deserves urie in particular.
> 
> seidou just deserves to be happy and akiramon already love him so!
> 
> and uh //big handwave// omegas have the reproductive organs necessary to bear children regardless of gender so don't say i didn't tell you that going forward in this story.


	2. Chapter 2

“Sorry, but I am in no position to compromise on such important information being taught in our public school systems.” Tsukiyama Shuu taps one finger against the glass of blood wine in his hand, rolling his eyes at the tone of the human committee member of the TSC on the other end of the phone. “And I don’t see  _ how _ this is any different than teaching sexual education for human children, so you’ll have to outline— Hold on.”

A firm knock at the bathroom door has Shuu lowering the phone, pressing the speaker against the upper part of his bare chest, raising his voice so the servant on the other side of the door can hear him. “Go ahead and come in, everything important is under the water!”

“That’s good to know, Shuu-sama.” The woman who opens the door is Shuu’s newest servant, an alpha ghoul named Junko with a very no-nonsense attitude. “Kaneki Ken is at the door asking to see you. I wanted to know what you want done with him.”

The implication makes Shuu wince slightly; her sense of humor is abrasive even to him, though he likes her all the more for it. “Did he say what he wanted to talk about?”

“He didn’t. I assume you don’t want to see him given your delicate condition.” Junko leans her shoulder against the doorframe, arms folded over her chest as she studies him with sharp green eyes, though not in a way Shuu thinks is even slightly longing.

“I see.” Shuu debates, then shakes his head and raises the phone back to his ear. “I’m going to have to talk to you about this later. I’ll call you when I’m free.” He hangs up before a single complaint can grace his ears, then nods to Junko. “Tell him to come on up, I’ll just talk with him quickly and send him on his way. It can’t be too important.”

Junko frowns at him. “Are you sure, Shuu-sama? With you being in pre-heat and all…”

“There’s no need for concern. Kaneki-kun is human enough that he’s nothing at all.” And therefore, not even slightly a concern when it comes to Shuu in heat, much less pre-heat. He should be able to finish this conversation quickly and send Kaneki away.

“If you say so. Let me know if I need to escort him out.” With that, Junko closes the door behind her on her way out, and Shuu sighs as he allows himself to sink down into the water.

Omegas in pre-heat typically spend at least a little time pampering themselves before bedding down for the duration of it, though Shuu knows the prettying up is more for the alpha’s benefit than anything else. He just likes the bath, the soothing warmth against his muscles and skin before he spends the next few days working out the various ways to get himself off and satisfy his needs around his meals and sleep.

_ Having a mate would make all of this much easier. Maybe I should think about looking. _ What a joke, though. No alpha has ever caught Shuu’s attention in a way that would last.

It has crossed his mind once before that he does not need a mate who  _ loves _ him, of course, and there are plenty of alphas who would throw themselves at his feet and tend to him a few days each month to be afforded the chance to live in luxury. Though, Shuu has always had the fantasy of a mate who loves him and cherishes him, who wants him for more than his money— He understands now that might not be very realistic.

Filing that away for later, he finishes his glass of wine and checks his email until the sound of dual footsteps catches his attention just before Junko knocks at the door again.

“Come in,” Shuu calls out, tapping through his various applications as the door slowly opens. “Sorry to make this awkward, Kaneki-kun, but you came over at the wrong time.”

He glances out of the corner of his eye to see Kaneki’s slight smile at the words; he takes a seat on the lid of the toilet while Junko closes the door and gives them privacy, though Shuu doubts she will venture far from the room. Though Shuu made it clear to each of his new hires that he needs no one to take care of him, Junko is oddly protective of him, and it reminds him too much of Kanae— of  _ Karren _ — for him to try to break her of the habit.

That name makes his heart ache a tiny bit, so he clears his throat. “How can I help you?”

“Sorry to interrupt your bath.” Kaneki rubs a hand along the back of his neck, and Shuu chuckles softly to himself. “Yomo-san took Ichika with him today, so that freed me up to come talk to you about something. It’s… I’m not sure if it’s important or not, actually.”

“Out with it, then. If it’s important, we should tend to it quickly.” Shuu cannot ignore the uncertainty in Kaneki’s voice, but he tends to overblow a lot of situations. Not his fault, more a product of the life he’s led, but Shuu wants to get to the point.

After all, his body is on the very edge of his heat cycle, and he has no desire to be in a room with Kaneki Ken when that happens. He’s trying to be  _ good. _ Kaneki has a boyfriend, a daughter, and a happy family life, and Shuu has no desire to ruin that.

Kaneki shifts next to him, but Shuu keeps his attention on his phone. “I wanted to ask you a question about Eto. You’ve met her, haven’t you? So you’ve been able to smell her.”

The question is odd enough to pique Shuu’s interest, and he sets his phone aside, shifting deeper into the water and the soft foamy bubbles atop its surface to look at Kaneki properly. “Of course I have. She smells wonderful, very rich. Why do you ask?”

“That’s, like… So she’s not like me, right?” Kaneki’s voice jumps up a slight octave.

Slowly, Shuu shakes his head. “Not in all ways, I would say. Why are you asking me?”

“So when Ichika was born, Touka could tell right away that she was a little alpha. It’s in her scent and her biology, obviously, and Eto is the same.” Kaneki rubs his hands along the legs of his jeans, and Shuu blinks at him. He’s following, but he has no idea which way Kaneki is trying to take this. “Natural one-eyed ghouls develop like normal ghouls.”

“I mean, it’s hard to say without having met more than two natural one-eyed ghouls, but it would seem so, I suppose. Why?” Shuu presses, interested despite his current state.

Kaneki looks at him for a long moment, and Shuu sinks deeper into the water, trying to escape the intensity of that gaze. As much as a part of him is  _ attracted _ to that, he also knows he has no right to feel that way. “Are you all right? You smell… Different.”

“I’m fine. I’m just in pre-heat, which is why I’m trying to chase you out of here.” Shuu rolls his eyes when Kaneki’s face flushes slightly at him. “What’s that for? Surely you were around Touka-chan when she was in heat. This shouldn’t be anything new to you.”

“It’s not, I just… I’m sorry.” Kaneki sits upright now, squaring his shoulders. “I think something might be wrong with me. I’ve started noticing the scents of omegas more than I used to, and it’s starting to… I guess arouse me. But that’s not normal for a human, right?”

_ So this is what you’re trying to dance around with me. _ “No, it’s not. Humans don’t notice the difference at all. Well, the CCG agents might have a way to tell, but normal humans don’t. You could ask Touka’s girlfriend, or Nishiki’s wife. They’d know better about this.”

“I know that. I just don’t want to ask them. It feels… I’m not as close with them.” Kaneki looks away, and Shuu smiles slightly at the implication that it makes the two of them close.  _ I like that you think of us as friends. _ “I was wondering if my body might be changing. I mean, I don’t know. There’s no record of anyone like me. And I don’t know about the other ghouls that Kanou created because I just… How do I go about asking Amon-san?”

That is a good point, Shuu reflects. It’s such a sensitive topic that he cannot possibly imagine it going over well if he blurted it out to someone without any class. “You should see a ghoul doctor, then, who might be able to advise you better. I’m not one of those.”

“I can smell you.” Kaneki shifts uncomfortably on the toilet lid, and Shuu cocks his head, not sure he understands. “That you’re… Almost in heat. I can smell that now, and it’s…”

A quick glance at where his arms are propped on his thighs tells Shuu everything he needs to know. “I see. You should probably escort yourself from the house, then, and see a doctor. I doubt you want to find out in such an inelegant manner, and you have a partner.”

Kaneki still refuses to look at him. “Yeah, I know. Hide and I were talking about it.”

“Talking about it? Well, that makes sense. I guess you’re not one to hide monumental things anymore.” Shuu trails the tips of his fingers through a small patch of visible water, not sure what to do with this information. Why is Kaneki volunteering it in the first place?

“Because if I was developing as an alpha or omega, then we’d have to worry about a rut or heat cycle, and what would we do?” Kaneki drops his head a little, and Shuu thinks about reaching out to touch him. To comfort him. Damnable instincts; Shuu is keeping his hands firmly to himself in this situation. “Heats are easier to manage for humans, I guess? Kimi and Yoriko seem pretty good at doing it as far as I know.”

That is probably true, though Shuu is not close enough with either woman to know for sure. “Omegas are easier to handle because heats really aren’t so bad. Ruts on the other hand… Can be a little worse for the wear. Humans aren’t made to take knots, after all.”

“Right, that.” Kaneki’s cheeks pick up a slight pink tint along the bone, and Shuu can’t help a little smile at how easy it is to fluster him. “And it looks like… Like it’s going to be that.”

“Kaneki-kun, an alpha ghoul…” Shuu shakes his head. “I think you should probably just see a doctor. Not at all meant to be an offense, of course, but you don’t seem like an alpha to me. It might just be your hormones unsettling because of the change, but—”

Kaneki’s voice cracks a little when he speaks, but not like he is on the verge of tears. Shuu would know if it was that. “Believe me when I say I’m pretty sure I’m right about this.”

“What makes you think so? You seem… Tense, Kaneki-kun.” And aroused, but Shuu is not going to go there. He is  _ good _ now. He isn’t going to go after someone’s  _ partner _ —

“Because I can smell that you’re almost in heat, and it’s making me think about damning my plans for the rest of the week so I can drag you to bed and fuck you.” Kaneki spits the words out like speaking any slower would kill him, then groans and scrubs a hand over his face. “If I’d known you were almost in heat, I wouldn’t have come. I had no idea.”

It takes, admittedly, a minute for Shuu’s brain to process all of those words in the order they were spoken. Slowly, so as not to draw any attention to himself, he presses his thighs tight together and tries for a smile. “You should  _ definitely _ leave the manor, then.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I just.” Kaneki exhales heavily, and his scent finally cuts through the heavy floral perfume of the bath oils that have been swirling around Shuu for the last hour or so. “I feel like I’m going to go crazy like this, and Hide…”

Shuu fans the air in front of his voice, ignoring the sharp pang between his legs and the way arousal coils tight in his belly at Kaneki’s oddly spicy scent. “Kaneki-kun, I’m—”

“He’s down in the car right now because when we talked about it, we agreed that…” Kaneki trails off again, and Shuu is going to die. He should just drown himself, because that would make this situation much easier on both of them. “We have so many friends who are ghouls, and we’re both very secure in this relationship. We went through so much and still found our way back to each other, so how could we not be secure?”

“I wouldn’t know, I’m sorry, but that sounds lovely.” Kaneki is too close, and the door is closed, and Shuu debates whether or not Junko would injure Kaneki if she dragged him out. “Wait, did you say Hide-kun is in your car? Did he come here with you?”

Kaneki nods and when he meets Shuu’s eyes again, it is  _ definitely _ a mistake because his kakugan is activated. “Do you want to talk to him? I can call him for you.”

“Talk to him? About what?” But Shuu is starting to get the picture, and that picture is too good to be true, and too unfair, because Kaneki does not  _ deserve _ this.

“About…” Kaneki swallows so hard his Adam’s apple strains with the motion of it. “I could leave if you want me to, and I will. But if you don’t want to spend your heat cycle alone, I could spend it with you. And it would give me answers about what’s going on.”

_ Would we just be using each other, Kaneki-kun? _ Shuu immediately shoves the concept out of his head because the last thing he needs to do is anything that might risk that. “If you’re going to have sex with any omega ghoul, it should probably be someone better—”

“Better? Who would be better?” Kaneki looks genuinely perplexed at his words.

Shuu falls silent, sucking his lower lip between his teeth and biting down on it, but not hard enough to draw blood. “I don’t know. Someone you have chemistry with, perhaps. Someone that you and Hide-kun talk to about this before you get bombarded by their scent.”

“We discussed it between each other already. I was… Coming here to discuss it with you in person.” Kaneki’s smile is small and helpless and Shuu’s stomach flips hard enough that it halts his arousal a little bit. “Hide  _ likes _ you. He thinks you’re charming, and if we trust you with Ichika, then we can easily trust you with this. She’s the most important person.”

For a moment, Shuu says nothing. He needs to process this even with Kaneki’s alluring scent tempting him to just stop thinking about it and say  _ yes. _ Of course Kaneki has to put up with something  _ else _ on top of his entire lifetime of abuse and pain and suffering, something altering who he is so fundamentally that he’s scrabbling for a lifeline. It would be easier to send him to a doctor to get something,  _ anything, _ to dull his sense of smell until he can better acclimate to it. They make suppressants for rut. He could have a normal life.

“I know there are other options,” Kaneki says, as if reading his mind; Shuu peeks up at him through his lashes, not sure he wants to try to read past the  _ predatory _ part of Kaneki’s expression right now. “We talked about those. Hide was just curious on whether or not you’d insist on a doctor rather than offering outright like I know you want to.”

“You know me too well, Kaneki-kun,” Shuu admits, “but that being said, I’m not sure you want to test this out with me. Why not find another partner to consider this with?”

Kaneki blinks at him once. Twice. Then sighs and tips his head back. “Shuu,” he says, and the sound of his own name on Kaneki’s tongue has never sounded so nice, “you’re making this harder for both of us. Would you be more comfortable if Hide was involved? I did… More than a little light reading, and I know some omegas  _ prefer _ a beta in the room. And as far as I know, beta ghouls and humans aren’t really so different biologically speaking.”

That much is true, but it still throws Shuu off that Kaneki knows this. “You’ve been looking all of this up. So you knew you were an alpha before you ever walked into my house.”

“Yeah, actually. I kinda feel bad about pretending.” Kaneki smiles at him, and Shuu just huffs at him, slightly annoyed but a little endeared, too. “Hide likes you, like I said. He’s comfortable with the two of us having sex if you consent. I don’t think he’ll care to participate. He might even be excited at the prospect of it.”

It’s  _ tempting, _ that much is true. It would be so easy to say yes, to have Kaneki take him to bed and finally fulfill some of those deep-seated fantasies Shuu has been keeping firmly to himself, but he can’t shake the innate sense that it would be  _ wrong. _ That Kaneki is only here because of that, because of the situation, and the convenience of it, like he wouldn’t have a choice if not for this. And Shuu does not like that kind of framing at all.

Though he has to admit, he is  _ flattered _ that Kaneki and Hide decided on him at all.

Before Shuu can give him an answer, Kaneki’s phone rings, and the way Kaneki looks at the screen before answering tells Shuu exactly who is on the other line. “Hi, sorry to keep you waiting. No, we’re still talking about it— He wants to talk to you, Shuu.”

Of course he does. “I’m unsurprised. Hand the phone over.”

In the years Shuu has had to learn more about Hide, the man’s optimism and determination are high on his list of favorable and constant traits. As soon as he raises the phone to his ear, Hide is speaking into it.  _ “You’re both overthinking things so much, I can just tell.” _

“We aren’t,” Shuu protests, but that’s not entirely true. “I’m flattered that you chose me of all the people in your life that you could have chosen, but I just don’t know.”

_ “If you’re not interested, it’s fine. I’ll come up and get him myself, but if you are…” _ Hide trails off, and Shuu rolls his eyes because of  _ course _ he is. He was interested in Kaneki from the first moment they met each other.  _ “If you don’t want to be alone with him because it’s going to be his first time, then I’ll join. I can mediate that.” _

Chuckling, Shuu sits back in the tub a little. It’s hard not to be at ease with someone like Hide, after all. “This is a little too much like a bad fantasy to be true, surely.”

Hide laughs, and Shuu tries not to smile at the sound of it.  _ “Hey, I know what you mean. I know you’re probably thinking about how lucky  _ you’d _ be to be with Ken, but you gotta realize that you’re a hell of a catch. Anyone would be lucky to be with you, Shuu.” _

“You’re sweet.”  _ Sugary _ sweet, at that. “Are you sure? Because if one of you is going to be involved, I’d rather it be both so I don’t seem like I’m wrecking anyone’s marriage.”

_ “We aren’t married yet, but the consideration is nice.”  _ Hide chuckles.  _ “We talked about it for like, two or three weeks. I really don’t care to share because I know he’s not going to run out on me for anyone else, and I was fine with him just going off to you on his own. But I’m not going to lie and pretend I’m not attracted to you, too. You’re really pretty.” _

“Thank you.” Instead of  _ I know, _ which would just sound pretentious, and Shuu has no reason to be right now. “Are you sure? Because there are other ways. He could go on suppressants until he has a better handle on it. You don’t need to involve me.”

Hide is quiet for a moment, and when he speaks, his voice is softer, all of the barely-there edges filed down.  _ “We talked about that, too. But Ken wants to do it this way, and we want to involve you if you want to be involved. If you don’t, I get it, and we’ll head out.” _

“You should probably know what he already does, then. That I’m about to go into heat for the next few days. So it could be a one-time thing easily, but it might be hard to pry him away.” Because this would be the first time either of them see in person just how protective an alpha can become of an omega in heat. Kaneki would have to experience it.

_ “Oh, really?” _ Hide whistles.  _ “Yomo would probably keep Ichika for a few days, then. We can wrangle that. You up for having house guests for a few days?” _

They’re serious. Shuu has to face the reality that these two idiots are  _ serious. _

He looks Kaneki in the eye, ignoring the shiver that rolls down his spine at the sight of his kakugan. “Are you sure about this? You’re certain this is what you want to do?”

“I’m having a hard time not just doing it right now,” Kaneki confirms with a nod.

Well. That settles it, then. Shuu sighs, then turns his attention back to the phone. “I’m going to send Junko down to escort you up to my private bathroom. It’s where I am. Unfortunately, you caught me while I was getting washed up.”

_ “You’re in the bath?”  _ Hide sounds audibly excited now.  _ “Please just be right there when I get up there because I just  _ have _ to see this. It really does sound like a cheesy porn.” _

“That’s definitely one way of putting it. I’ll see you when you get up here.” Shuu hangs up the phone and hands it back to Kaneki, trying to ignore the slight tremble in his fingers as he does so. “Hide is on his way upstairs. I guess we’re doing this, Kaneki-kun.”

Kaneki’s pupils dilate; Shuu could not miss it if he tried. “Then am I allowed to touch you?”

“You can, yes.” Shuu never  _ dreamed _ he would get to tell Kaneki Ken something like that.

Kaneki has faster reflexes than most ghouls and it shows in just how fast he’s on his knees next to the tub, stretching out a hand to cup Shuu’s cheek. Even that small touch alone is enough to tip Shuu’s world slightly off of its axis, his entire being hyperfocusing on Kaneki. This close, there is no mistaking it. His scent, intoxicating enough for how delicious he smells, is laced with that warm spice that sits hot and heavy in Shuu’s gut.

Kaneki Ken smells for all the world like an alpha ghoul. He’s  _ reacting _ like one, even.

“Oh, please,” Shuu finds himself murmuring, pressing his cheek into Kaneki’s palm.

“You’re so warm.” Kaneki leans closer to him, and Shuu shivers a little when he visibly inhales. “I can smell you through the flowers. You smell so sweet. Is that what it was like for you when you first smelled me? If so, I’m starting to understand a little.”

_ Don’t say such awful, wonderful things. _ “You should stop talking and kiss me.”

“I should.” And Kaneki makes good on his word, leaning in to do just that.

Kaneki’s lips are soft against his own, impossibly so, and Shuu’s brain threatens to short circuit the moment he realizes  _ Kaneki Ken _ is kissing him. Then he closes his eyes and gives himself to the kiss, lips moving frantically against Kaneki’s own as if trying to make up for lost time. Only when the bathroom door opens does he manage to pull away.

“Looks like I’m just in time.” Nagachika Hideyoshi is smiling behind the mask; Shuu can tell. “Scoot over, Ken. I want a taste, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whistles innocently


	3. Chapter 3

Urie Kuki will never admit it out loud, but the  _ chateau _ does not quite feel like home until Shirazu returns to active duty alongside the rest of them.

The grievous wounds he suffered at the hands of the deranged ghoul Noro took months to heal properly even with the added benefits of quinx rapid restoration. While Shirazu laid in a hospital bed, Haru’s Rc tumor finally diminished, and the two spent additional time rebuilding their lives while the world reformed around them all. Privately, Urie is glad for this. The constant shifting, as rapid and progressive as it may be, would have disturbed the healing of the siblings and made it nearly impossible for them to settle down.

Just the same, it feels like a missing piece of him returns when Shirazu walks through the door with his bags slung over a shoulder, as loud and obnoxious as ever.

He just thought they’d be over all of their personal issues by this point.

On a grocery run for the  _ chateau, _ Yusa catches him brooding over this topic once more. It’s so pointless to care as much as he does, and yet even something like a small spat over the breakfast table turning into a full-fledged argument is enough to bother him, settling into his bones so heavily that it takes hours to fully shrug it off.

“What are you thinking about?” Yusa asks him, voice soft in offering, an openness there that Urie has grown used to with time. His eyes remain fixed on the road ahead of him, significantly cutting any additional pressure. “Still thinking about this morning?”

“He nearly died, you know. I thought we’d be able to get over it,” Urie admits, his gaze focused on the window and the bright spring day outside.  _ I wonder what Kaneki is up to. _

Yusa clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, the sound surprisingly loud in the quiet car. Though Urie didn’t notice him turning the radio off, he probably did right before he started speaking. “I mean, he was out of action for years. Give him time to readjust.”

“I know. I’m just… Concerned, I suppose. That I might have done or said something I shouldn’t have as soon as he walked in the door.” Though he said nothing. He just stood there and smiled, patted him on the back. The only things he said that night were that he’d escort Shirazu to his room, let him settle down, and then congratulated him on being back.

Truth be told, he thought Shirazu would remain out of action entirely. They received the news he was returning only a week before he did. Not nearly enough time to prepare.

“You could just ask him instead of rising to the bait every time he sets it out.” When Urie shoots him a look, Yusa only snorts. “You’re like children. He makes one comment and you snap at it. If you think he’s upset about something, you should just ask him if he’s okay.”

“Is it wrong of me to be worried about him biting my head off for asking just that?” Urie is not a coward, but he is not  _ trying _ to look for another, larger fight.

He just wants things to be okay between them. Not quite back to the way they were, not really; he wants  _ better _ for the both of them. For the prickliness to ease now that he’s older, that he’s matured, that he’s let go of the pain and the vengeance and the sense that he would never be good enough no matter what he did. Shirazu nearly bleeding out in his arms was a stark reminder to how much he could lose in the blink of an eye.

At a red light, Yusa tilts his head and studies him, sharp eyes too intense for Urie to hold his gaze without feeling uncomfortable. “He doesn’t know how he survived yet, does he?”

“I told the others not to tell him what I did,” Urie admits. “I don’t want him to feel like he  _ must _ be kind to me because he owes me something. I would have done it for any of them.”

“Oh, I’m aware. You let Mutsuki stab you, after all.” Yusa turns back to the road and accelerates, and they close the distance between themselves and the grocery store.

Urie should let this go now that the conversation seems to have lost Yusa’s interest, but he finds his mouth opening just the same as soon as Yusa removes the key from the ignition. “Do you think he’ll feel beholden? I know he’s going to find out no matter what I do or what I tell the others. Someone will let it slip. It’ll be an accident, I’m sure.”

“Shirazu would never feel like he owed you anything. I know that just as well as you do.” Yusa shakes his head, as if Urie has disappointed him. “You need to talk to him directly. Stop skirting around the issue. Asking after him lets you know that you care.”

The word  _ care _ makes Urie’s skin itch. “Right. I know you’re right. I don’t know why I keep cowering away from something so simple. I’m supposed to be better than this.”

“Treating him like he’s fragile only makes him settling in that much harder. So just talk to him upfront and stop treating him like he’s made of glass.” Yusa pats him on the shoulder then slips out of the car, and Urie stares after him for a moment, confused.

_ Treating him like he’s made of glass? Is that what I’m doing? _ The idea is foreign to him, and so far from the truth, but Urie can see how it might look that way. How they can have these arguments that he keeps trying to back down from, how he refuses to confront the issue at its core so the two of them can finally live in peace together.

Yusa taps his window, and Urie realizes he’s still buckled in.

“What did you mean when you said I treated him like he was fragile?” Urie asks as he climbs out of the car, almost tripping when his foot gets hooked on the frame.

With ease, Yusa blocks his fall, and Urie frees his foot. “You have been. I guess I can understand why. A few of the others have been doing the same, though I haven’t looked into it as much as I should have. It didn’t seem like it was my business.”

_ Have the others? _ Urie doesn’t think so, but he can’t pretend he’s been paying that much attention to the actions of everyone else. “He probably feels like we don’t trust him to do his job anymore. That’s… I’m sorry if I ever made him feel like that’s what I thought.”

“Like I said, I understand it. The science of it all makes the situation interesting from an outsider’s perspective, but we can’t be outsiders to each other.” Yusa pats him on the back while Urie furrows his eyebrows, not understanding the meaning of his words.  _ Science? _ “I might ask Saiko about it. I think she and Shirazu have talked about it at least once, you know how she worries about people. Well, come on. Everyone’s bound to be hungry soon, and there’s not much left at home to make dinner with.”

Grocery trips are monotonous and uneventful enough that Urie can mindlessly pull products from the shelf, depositing them into the cart as Yusa reads off of the list Yonebayashi gave him before they left the house. By the time they pay for their purchases and return home, he decides that yes, he must speak to Shirazu in private, confront the matter head-on without running away from it, and soothe whatever ills there are between them.

He can do that much, and should be able to do it with ease no matter how hard this is.

Though it does stick in the back of his mind in the midst of everything else. What did Yusa mean by the  _ science _ of it, or that other members of the squad have been doing the same? Why hasn’t Urie noticed them doing it? He doesn’t think Yusa is right, surely; Shirazu has only been arguing with him because Urie would have stepped in to help diffuse the other arguments, and he has had to do no such thing since Shirazu came back.

And what did  _ science _ have to do with anything like that, anyway?  _ Surely it doesn’t. _

As everyone spills out of the house to help them bring the bags in, Urie realizes there is a missing head amongst them and frowns, leaning down so that only Yonebayashi hears his words. “Where’s Shirazu? I need to speak to him about something.”

“Cryptic as always,” Yonebayashi muses, and Urie scowls at her. “He’s up in his bedroom. He says he hasn’t been feeling well lately and needed to take some time to rest.”

Not feeling well? “Should we notify a doctor to ensure that he’s all right?”

“I don’t think so. This is just normal for him now, so we’re going to have to get used to it just as much as he does.” Yonebayashi leans back to look up at him, her brows creased. “Are you sure you should be going up to talk to him? Or, no, well… Urie has always had a lot of self-control, so it’s probably nothing to worry about after all.”

_ Self-control? _ “I’m not going to be arguing with him. I just want to smooth things out between the two of us so there’s no more fighting. It’s good for everyone that way.”

“I agree. I just don’t want you biting off more than you can chew right now, especially when I don’t think he can do much of anything about it.” With that cryptic response, Yonebayashi gathers up two bags and hurries off into the house with them.

Urie’s head is beginning to ache subtly. What do all of these words add up to?  _ Never mind. Speak to Shirazu. Perhaps that will shed light on the situation. _

On his way upstairs, Urie wonders if their tension has spread throughout the house. Certainly, Yonebayashi knows both of them well and would probably be able to easily see there is something wrong, but Urie worries it might be more than that. It only validates Yusa’s belief that he and Shirazu need to talk things out once and for all. If they don’t, he can hardly imagine what kind of venom can sprout in the space between them.

They could hardly afford mistakes fighting ghouls. They  _ cannot _ afford them fighting the Dragon Orphans and the wild ghouls who still seek to uproot humanity.

Shirazu’s bedroom door is closed when Urie approaches it, though this hardly surprises him considering Shirazu isn’t feeling well.  _ Maybe I should speak to him when he’s well? _ But he knows putting time and distance between them will ensure he never says anything.

Before he can rap his knuckles against the door, he hears movement on the other side of it and rolls his eyes. Of course. Ghoul senses of smell are still as sharp as ever, and the quinx are not devoid of them despite not being fully ghoul themselves. The door cracks open just a few centimeters though, black eyes peeking at him through the shadows.

“Do you need something, Cap?” he asks, and his voice sounds… Raspy. Unused.

“Yonebayashi said you were sick, but I didn’t realize it was this bad.” Urie can see a flush across his cheekbones and is reaching out to check the temperature of his skin without thinking, frowning when Shirazu flinches away from him. “Do you want to see a doctor?”

For a moment, Shirazu is silent, eyes narrowing at him before he scoffs. “Did she fuckin’ say I was sick? I’m not  _ sick. _ You can’t be this dense and be our squad captain.”

“I’m sorry? She just said you weren’t feeling well.” Urie has to bite back a snark in return because that isn’t going to help either of them right now. “I was actually hoping the two of us could sit down and talk. We’ve been arguing a lot lately. And I don’t want that.”

Again, Shirazu’s eyes narrow at him. “Ain’t exactly been my fault, though.”

“We both have our fair share of the blame to take,” Urie says softly; Shirazu hums at him but says nothing, so he presses on as gently as he can. “I don’t want us to fight anymore. I want us to be able to get along with each other. I… You almost died.”

Silence, again. Shirazu’s face softens, though, and he huffs out a sigh before cracking the door slightly wider. “How can you stand to even be this close to me right now?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about?” Urie’s voice cracks a little on the last word, but he clears his throat and steps into the room, surprised when Shirazu immediately shuts it back, twisting the lock. “Oh, are you having some aches and pains or something?”

The bed has been made up with so many pillows and extra blankets that Urie feels concern gnaw at his gut.  _ If he’s hurting, then we need to get him to a doctor’s right away. _

Shirazu stares at him for so long that Urie itches under his gaze before he rakes a hand down his face, an expression of understanding taking over the distrust. “You don’t know. Okay, I get it know. No one told ya. Nah, Cap, I’m not sick. I’m not hurting. I’m in heat.”

“Oh, you’re just— You’re what?” Urie’s head whips around toward the bed, the  _ nest, _ and back to Shirazu once more. “That’s not possible. You’re not an omega ghoul.”

Instead of answering him, Shirazu crosses the room and climbs back into his nest, settling down in the cradle of pillows and blankets, tucking his hands behind his head. In the years he’d been away, his hair grew back in, as shaggy and autumn gold as Urie remembers it, but it’s mussed now. The scant amount of clothing— a baggy t-shirt and a pair of boxers— are just as rumpled. He looks  _ tired, _ not sick, and Urie is a bigger fool than he thought he was.

“I  _ wasn’t _ an omega ghoul,” Shirazu corrects him, and Urie’s thought process slams against the side of his skull like a train running off the rails, colliding with the rock siding instead of slipping into the tunnel. “But when I was in the hospital, my hormones were all over the place, right? They were on top of it. We suppressed it until we could figure out what was going on, and then I got to make the choice. Let it happen, or keep suppressing it.”

Urie feels awkward standing in the center of the room, so he sits down in Shirazu’s office chair, elbows balanced on his knees as he lets that sink in. “I don’t… I didn’t think that was possible. Quinx aren’t ghouls. I didn’t imagine a body could respond like that.”

Shirazu shrugs a shoulder at him, shifting a little in his nest, and Urie realizes he must feel overly warm right now. On top of— Oh. “I guess it was bound to happen eventually. My kagune was framed out already, so we didn’t have that many options to work with.”

“It’s probably for the best this happened after the formation of the TSC.” The CCG would have put him down the moment his body framed out, the moment he was considered a true ghoul. That thought makes Urie’s gut twist. He’d nearly died to aid them, and yet—

_ No. _ Shirazu is fine, and the CCG has been dissolved. They have better, accepting policies.

Shirazu nods, and Urie wonders if he’d been worried. If he’d even thought about it when he first woke up in the aftermath of the war. If he wondered why he was alive at all. “We spent a hell of a lot of time discussing all the physical changes and shit, but like… I went through with it, didn’t I? It just felt like the right thing to do for me.”

“Any decisions you make about your person are yours alone, so I’m glad you felt comfortable making the choice for yourself.” Urie makes a note to himself to look up any and all information he can about omega ghouls just in case there’s something he needs to know that might make Shirazu’s life a little easier.

“You’ve been weird since I came back, y’know.” Shirazu looks at him, eyes sharp, and Urie frowns.  _ Have I been? _ “I thought it was because you knew. I thought it’d probably even happened for you. It’s happened for some of the others after all, so—”

“It has?” Urie hasn’t been paying attention nearly enough, and he’s their  _ captain. _

The room falls quiet for a long moment as Shirazu studies him before he laughs, tipping his head back into the pillows and shaking it. “Oh my  _ God, _ I thought… I thought you were an  _ alpha _ and you were being all weird around me because you  _ knew, _ and you’re the last one to know. That’s fucking insane. I’m sorry, man, I had no idea how out of the loop you were.”

“Right. It looks like there’s a lot I don’t know.” Not that he  _ should _ know, because none of this is particularly his business, and the others… They must have leaned on each other through the difficulties, and not him, because it didn’t happen. Or if it had, he wasn’t talking about it— “So the likelihood of becoming an alpha, beta, or omega ghoul is highly likely for myself as well. That’s definitely something to think about.”

“Some of the squad are stopping it, some aren’t, it just depends, you know how it is.” Shirazu fans his face with one hand, and Urie feels a touch of sympathy for him.

He doesn’t  _ know, _ but he understands. “I’m sorry that you felt that way. I just didn’t want to fight because… We almost lost you. It feels like such a waste to spend time fighting after that. Like we should be enjoying the time we have together now.”

“Very romantic,” Shirazu muses, and Urie’s face burns at the words. “I guess one of the ghouls at the hospital said that the scent wouldn’t bother anyone, but I’m impressed.”

“The scent of your, ah…” Urie trails off, fighting the urge to squirm in his seat.

“My heat, yeah.” Shirazu seems more than a little amused at his discomfort with the situation. “The others have been staying away because they know better. Kinda nice since I don’t gotta worry about them getting horny if they bring me food or something.”

Urie cocks his head, then scoffs at himself. “Right, of course. Omegas usually have at least friends nearby to help them. Do you… I could do that for you, if you’d like.”

“Show of apology?” Shirazu asks, and Urie nods immediately, relieved when Shirazu smiles at him, a genuine one that warms his eyes. “Then I’ll accept it. And I’m sorry for worrying you over nothing. If you don’t mind, though, I need water. I’m burning up.”

“Right, of course.” Urie stands immediately, smoothing his shirt before hesitating. Then he straightens his spine;  _ he needs this. Do this for him.  _ “No matter what your biological sex is, you’re still the same person to me. You always will be. I can assure you of that much.”

“Good man,” Shirazu says, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. Relaxing.

Most of the groceries have been put away when Urie reaches the kitchen, and he flashes Yusa a smle as he picks two bottles of water out of the refrigerator and takes them back upstairs. This is simple; Urie can do this. And everything is fine between the two of them, a simple misunderstanding. All that has changed is that Urie will need to sit down and think very hard about the inevitable moment when his body wants to change on him, a fast track into becoming more of a ghoul than a human. He needs to research as much as he can so he knows what he wants for himself when the choice comes for him to make.

“You’re a lifesaver.” Shirazu sits up when Urie brings him the water, twisting the cap off and taking a huge gulp immediately. “I’ll text you if I need anything. For the most part I guess I just gotta worry about getting myself off until it’s finally over.”

Ignoring the heat creeping up the back of his neck, Urie nods. “Of course. Just let me know what you need, and I’ll get it for you. But for now, just relax.”

When Shirazu falls back down against the mattress, Urie notices it. Maybe he wasn’t close enough before; maybe the scent can’t bother him from a distance. But the sticky sweet warmth is heavy and full in his throat, and he finds himself swallowing hard as he turns to walk out of the bedroom, fingers twitching. A very small, very tiny voice at the back of his head insists  _ You need to stay. He needs someone to take care of him. _

Urie makes a beeline to his room. He needs to burn some incense to clean out his nose and maybe, just  _ maybe _ he needs to masturbate himself to work the edge off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these 2 make everything so hard INCLUDING me writing them. anyway here they are.


End file.
